Parent And Child For One Lifetime, Husband And Wife For Two Lifetimes, Master And Servant For Three Lifetimes: Japanese Proverb Meaning

How to Read “Parent and child for one lifetime, husband and wife for two lifetimes, master and servant for three lifetimes”

Oyako wa issei, fūfu wa nisei, shujū wa sansei

Meaning of “Parent and child for one lifetime, husband and wife for two lifetimes, master and servant for three lifetimes”

This proverb means that the parent-child relationship lasts only for this present life. The husband-wife relationship continues for two lifetimes into the next world. The master-servant relationship is the deepest bond, lasting for three lifetimes.

Based on Buddhist ideas of reincarnation, this saying shows three levels of relationship depth and continuity. Even parent and child, connected by blood, share only this present life together.

In contrast, the bond between husband and wife runs deeper. They chose each other by their own will. This connection continues into the next life.

The master-servant relationship was considered the strongest of all. It spans three lifetimes: past, present, and future. This bond was seen as unbreakable across time.

During the Edo period, samurai society used this proverb to emphasize loyalty to one’s lord. People also used it to teach the importance of cherishing one’s spouse.

Today, Buddhist worldviews have faded from daily life. We rarely hear this proverb anymore. Still, it remains a fascinating expression of how relationships differ in depth.

Origin and Etymology

This proverb comes from Buddhist teachings about reincarnation. Buddhism speaks of “three worlds” – past life, present life, and future life. People understood relationships through this framework of time.

The terms “one lifetime,” “two lifetimes,” and “three lifetimes” directly reflect this Buddhist worldview. Parent and child connect through blood only in this present life.

Husband and wife, however, meet because of karma from a past life. Their bond continues into the next world. The master-servant relationship goes even deeper, spanning all three lifetimes.

What’s interesting is that blood relationships rank lower than chosen ones. Husband-wife and master-servant bonds last longer than parent-child ties.

This reflects medieval and early modern Japanese society. Samurai valued loyalty to their lord above all else. The marriage bond was seen as a spiritual connection beyond mere blood ties.

We don’t know exactly when this proverb first appeared in writing. But it was widely known among common people during the Edo period. It expressed relationship depth through Buddhist concepts that everyone understood.

Usage Examples

• They say parent and child for one lifetime, husband and wife for two lifetimes, master and servant for three lifetimes, so I must treasure my bond with my wife
• The old saying goes parent and child for one lifetime, husband and wife for two lifetimes, master and servant for three lifetimes – it’s interesting how chosen relationships were seen as deeper than blood ties

Universal Wisdom

This proverb reveals a universal truth about relationships. The key difference lies in whether a bond is “given to us” or “chosen by us.”

Parent-child relationships are not our choice. We’re born into them. No matter how deep the love, this connection comes from chance, not our own will.

Marriage is different. Two people choose each other. The bond forms through mutual decision. Master-servant relationships required even stronger resolve and commitment.

This shows a deep understanding of human free will and responsibility. At first glance, ranking chosen relationships above blood ties seems to disrespect family bonds.

But that’s not the real message. The proverb actually highlights a harsh truth: choice brings responsibility. We must work harder to maintain what we choose.

Parental love flows naturally. But marriage and loyalty require conscious effort. Without that effort, these bonds break. That’s why they were said to last beyond this life.

People feel stronger responsibility for paths they choose themselves. Our ancestors captured this universal human psychology perfectly. They used Buddhist concepts to express what everyone instinctively knows.

When AI Hears This

If we view human relationships through physics and “the cost of maintaining order,” this proverb becomes surprisingly accurate.

Parent-child relationships share DNA blueprints. They start in a low-entropy state with built-in order. When a baby cries, parents respond automatically. This happens without conscious effort.

The “program to maintain order” is written into their genes. The relationship maintains itself to some degree even without work. It requires minimal energy input.

Marriage is completely different. Two people with zero genetic connection must create order through willpower alone. In thermodynamic terms, this is like constantly injecting energy to hold particles together that naturally want to scatter.

Conversation, consideration, and compromise are the energy you must supply daily. Without this constant input, the relationship naturally moves toward collapse.

Master-servant relationships are even more unstable. They’re held together only by artificial frameworks like interests and contracts. When conditions change, they dissolve instantly.

Just look at employee turnover rates. The moment “energy supply” like salary or benefits stops, the relationship evaporates. This bond faces the highest pressure toward entropy increase.

Lessons for Today

This proverb teaches modern people about the importance of “choice” and “responsibility” in relationships.

Today’s world looks different from the past. Lifetime employment has collapsed. Divorce is common. Even parent-child bonds sometimes grow thin.

But this makes the proverb’s core message shine even brighter. The relationships you choose carry real weight. You chose your spouse. You chose your workplace.

Your choices carry responsibility and deep meaning. Cherishing given relationships matters. But chosen relationships demand even deeper commitment.

We modern people have more freedom of choice than ever before. That’s exactly why we need the resolve to nurture our chosen relationships carefully.

These bonds deepen and continue only through your will and effort. Freedom to choose comes with responsibility for your choices. This proverb quietly teaches us that timeless truth.