How to Read “Holding back makes you hungry, showing off makes you cold”
Enryo hidarushi date samushi
Meaning of “Holding back makes you hungry, showing off makes you cold”
This proverb means that being too modest or too showy both end up hurting you. If you hold back too much, you have to endure hunger. If you show off too much, you end up shivering in the cold.
Both are extreme attitudes. The proverb teaches that balance is important.
People use this saying when someone is being overly considerate or trying too hard to impress others. It applies to someone who refuses food at a party out of politeness, or someone who dresses lightly to look fashionable.
These are situations where people ignore their true feelings and needs. They act in extreme ways.
Even today, this proverb works as a sharp lesson. It points out the foolishness of pretending to be someone you’re not and pushing yourself too hard.
Origin and Etymology
The exact first written appearance of this proverb is unclear. However, it likely came from the everyday experiences of common people during the Edo period.
The word “enryo” (holding back) means “being modest” today. But it has long referred to being considerate of others and suppressing your own desires in social situations.
“Hidarushi” is an old word meaning “hungry” or “famished.” The expression probably came from real experiences at banquets. When you hold back and eat modestly, you end up hungry and uncomfortable.
“Date” means showing off and acting flashy. The most popular theory traces this to the warlord Date Masamune, who loved extravagant clothing.
People began calling showy dress and showing off “date” because of him. The lesson is clear: dressing lightly to look cool leaves you shivering in the cold.
By placing these two contrasting situations side by side, the proverb expresses a life truth. Going to either extreme makes you suffer.
This is folk wisdom from common people. The proverb’s cleverness lies in addressing both extremes of human behavior in relationships: excessive modesty and excessive showing off.
Interesting Facts
The word “hidarushi” is rarely used in modern Japanese. However, it survives as a dialect in some regions.
This word is older than “himojii” (another word for hungry). It has been used since the Heian period.
As words for hunger changed over time, the old form was preserved only in this proverb. This is quite interesting.
Date Masamune was actually known for loving flashy things. Records show he appeared before Toyotomi Hideyoshi in gorgeous attire.
His high sense of aesthetics created the word “datemono” (stylish person). This eventually expanded to mean “showing off.”
Usage Examples
- I held back too much at the party and couldn’t eat anything. But if I buy only luxury brands, my life becomes difficult. It’s truly “Holding back makes you hungry, showing off makes you cold.”
- They say “Holding back makes you hungry, showing off makes you cold,” but I recently realized that being yourself and enjoying things moderately is best.
Universal Wisdom
This proverb shows a deep insight: humans are constantly wavering beings. In society, we swing between two extremes.
We either suppress ourselves by worrying too much about others’ opinions, or we stretch ourselves trying to look good to others.
Why do people take such extreme actions? It’s because they fear being honest about their true selves and desires.
People who hold back too much feel anxious. They worry that showing their desires will make others dislike them.
People who show off carry a fear. They’re afraid they won’t be accepted as their true selves. Both stem from the same root: distrust of oneself and a thirst for approval from others.
This proverb has been passed down for hundreds of years. That’s because it perfectly captures this fundamental human weakness.
Even as times change, people continue facing the question of how to position themselves in relationships with others. Modern people straining to look good on social media face the same inner conflict as Edo period people holding back at banquets.
Our ancestors saw through this. They understood that both extremes bring unhappiness.
True happiness comes from accepting your real self and living with proper balance. This proverb continues teaching this truth. It’s simple but difficult to practice.
When AI Hears This
The human body constantly battles entropy. It takes in low-entropy nutrients through food. It prevents the disorderly spread of heat by maintaining body temperature.
These are essential “costs of maintaining order” for life. Yet this proverb reveals something strange. Humans prioritize maintaining social order over biological order.
Thermodynamically speaking, enduring hunger delays the energy supply needed for chemical reactions in the body. This accelerates entropy increase at the cellular level.
Enduring cold in thin clothes raises the cost of maintaining thermal equilibrium (body temperature). It wastes metabolic energy unnecessarily.
The cost of defying physical laws clearly increases. Yet humans choose this to avoid the social disorder of “looking bad.”
What’s interesting is this: humans perceive the collapse of informational order (social reputation) as a more serious risk than the collapse of physical order.
From an evolutionary psychology perspective, this is a remnant from times when being excluded from the group lowered survival probability. In modern times, temporary hunger or cold rarely causes death.
Yet the brain overreacts to increases in social entropy. Humans are creatures governed more by social rules than physical laws.
This reversal of priorities tells the story of human society’s uniqueness.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches you the importance of living honestly with yourself. Are you exhausted from showing off on social media?
Are you holding back too much at work and unable to express your opinions? Either way, you’re only making yourself suffer.
What matters is honestly acknowledging your true feelings and situation. If you’re hungry, eat. If you’re cold, wear warm clothes.
This seems obvious, but we often forget these basics. We worry too much about what others think.
Starting today, try valuing your authentic self little by little. You don’t need to strain yourself to appear perfect.
But you also don’t need to suppress all your desires. Your own heart knows best what the right balance is.
Start by listening to that voice. Living as yourself, in comfort, is true richness.
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