How to Read “It is a man’s custom to stay together for life”
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Meaning of “It is a man’s custom to stay together for life”
This proverb expresses irony about how relationships between men and women are not eternal but changeable. On the surface, it uses the beautiful phrase “stay together for life.”
But by adding “a man’s custom,” it suggests these words are merely formal and empty. It’s a cynical look at reality.
When men marry, they naturally promise to “stay together for life.” However, this expression calmly observes that such promises are often broken.
It points out the gap between ideals and reality in love and marriage. It especially highlights how easily men’s hearts can change.
People use this proverb to express the contrast between beautiful vows and reality through irony rather than direct criticism.
Even today, it remains relevant for understanding how fleeting relationships can be. It captures something essential about human nature and the fragility of promises.
Origin and Etymology
No clear written records exist about this proverb’s origin. However, scholars believe it emerged from merchant culture during the Edo period.
“Stay together for life” has long been used as wedding vow language. It expresses the beautiful ideal of eternal love between a man and woman.
But this proverb creates an unexpected twist by adding “is a man’s custom.” This addition completely changes the meaning.
The word “custom” means convention or established practice. Here, though, it’s used ironically.
The proverb points out that men customarily promise to “stay together for life” at weddings. But in reality, they often fail to keep this promise.
During the Edo period, common people created many expressions about love and marriage. These sayings captured the gap between ideals and reality, often with humor.
This proverb is one such expression born from realistic observation. It uses beautiful vow language on the surface while sharply pointing out human fickleness underneath.
It represents the concentrated wisdom of Edo-period common people. They understood human nature deeply and expressed it cleverly.
Usage Examples
- He pledged his love so passionately at the wedding, but his heart has already moved to another woman. “It is a man’s custom to stay together for life” really says it all
- They say “it is a man’s custom to stay together for life,” but I wonder how many people actually keep their vows
Universal Wisdom
“It is a man’s custom to stay together for life” looks at the deep gap between human ideals and reality. Why do people make vows?
Because in that moment, they truly believe them. When making wedding vows, most people genuinely believe in eternal love. But as time passes, human hearts change.
This proverb has been passed down because it captures a universal truth about human emotions. We want to believe love is eternal, yet reality shows it changes.
This contradiction might be the very essence of human relationships.
Our ancestors knew the importance of holding ideals. But they also understood human weakness and limitations. That’s why they created such ironic expressions.
The proverb doesn’t reject making vows. Rather, it acknowledges how difficult keeping them is. It recognizes the complexity of the human heart.
This wisdom teaches us not to demand perfection. It shows the importance of accepting human imperfection.
Hold ideals while facing reality. Having both perspectives might be the key to building mature relationships.
When AI Hears This
Cutting off your own escape route can become your strongest negotiating card. This is the core of game theory’s “commitment strategy.”
Imagine a situation where cooperation benefits both parties. But if one person betrays, only the betrayer gains. The other person lives in constant anxiety, wondering “When will they betray me?”
Now, what happens when you declare “I’ll stay together for life” and destroy your other options? The other person’s anxiety disappears. Why? Because you no longer have the option to betray.
What’s interesting are the conditions for this strategy to work. Words alone mean nothing. You must truly create a situation where you cannot go back.
When men in old times publicly declared they would “stay together,” it functioned as social surveillance. Breaking the promise meant losing credibility and other options too.
By binding themselves, they paradoxically gained the greatest asset: complete trust from their partner.
Modern contracts and marriage systems work on the same principle. By building in “bridge-burning devices” like penalties and legal obligations, both parties can safely make long-term investments.
Giving up freedom can actually be the most rational choice. Such situations truly exist.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people about the weight of vows and promises. It also teaches tolerance in accepting human imperfection.
We must pursue ideals while recognizing the complexity of reality.
The important thing is not using this proverb as an excuse to give up on relationships. Rather, it helps us understand the need for continuous effort.
One vow doesn’t complete everything. Daily choices accumulating over time build relationships. This is what the proverb reveals.
It also teaches us to adjust our expectations of others. Expecting perfect loyalty or eternally unchanging love leads to suffering from the gap with reality.
Understanding that people change, yet still choosing to walk together anyway—that might be true love.
Modern society demands sincerity in all relationships. This proverb acknowledges how difficult being sincere is.
Yet paradoxically, it teaches that the effort to remain sincere has value precisely because it’s so difficult.
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