Favoritism’s Pulling Down: Japanese Proverb Meaning

How to Read Favoritism’s pulling down

Hiiki no hikitaoshi

Meaning of Favoritism’s pulling down

“Favoritism’s pulling down” means that when feelings of supporting or backing someone become too strong, it ends up hindering that person instead.

It expresses situations where actions born from good intentions become troublesome for the other person when taken to excess. It’s used in scenarios such as when parents become overprotective out of excessive worry for their children and hinder their independence, when someone shows too much favoritism toward a subordinate and causes resentment from others, or when trying to help a friend results in unwanted interference.

What this proverb shows is that love and good intentions also require appropriate distance. While feelings of caring for others are precious, when the method or degree of expression is wrong, it can lead to results opposite to the original purpose. True support means discerning what the other person truly needs and providing it at the right time in the right way. This can be said to be a proverb containing very important lessons for human relationships even in modern times.

Origin and Etymology of Favoritism’s pulling down

The origin of “Favoritism’s pulling down” lies in the sumo culture of the Edo period. In sumo of that time, spectators called the wrestlers they supported their “hiiki” (favorites). The word “hiiki” itself originally came from one of the dragon’s children in Chinese mythology, which was said to enjoy supporting heavy things, and thus came to be used with the meaning of “support” or “patronage.”

During sumo matches, spectators would sometimes become so excited that they would climb onto the ring and pull their favorite wrestlers or cheer excessively. However, such actions would actually hinder the wrestlers’ movements and prevent them from demonstrating their true strength. Well-intentioned cheering would end up dragging down the very person they meant to support.

It was from such scenes that the proverb “Favoritism’s pulling down” was born. It can be said to be a remarkably accurate expression that captured the contradiction in human psychology and behavior—how even pure feelings of support can have the opposite effect when the method is wrong—through the familiar entertainment of sumo. This is a proverb rooted in daily life that demonstrates the keen observational skills of Edo period people.

Trivia about Favoritism’s pulling down

The character “hiiki” (贔屓) actually has an unusual structure of three identical characters stacked together. It’s formed by stacking three “shell” (貝) characters, and since shells were used as currency in ancient China, it contains the meaning of “supporting someone by generously using abundant wealth.”

In the sumo world, the term “hiiki-suji” is still used today, referring to patron-like figures who provide financial support to wrestlers. This culture, continuing from the Edo period, was the specific social system behind the proverb.

Usage Examples of Favoritism’s pulling down

• Having parents call companies directly during their son’s job hunting is exactly Favoritism’s pulling down
• I was doing everything for her out of care, but it became Favoritism’s pulling down and she ended up disliking me

Modern Interpretation of Favoritism’s pulling down

In modern society, the structure of “Favoritism’s pulling down” has become more complex. With the spread of social media, well-intentioned support can be instantly disseminated, but its impact can also be unexpectedly large. For example, there are cases where trying to help someone in trouble by sharing posts containing personal information ends up violating their privacy.

This phenomenon has also become a serious problem in educational settings. The term “helicopter parent” has emerged to describe parents who, out of concern for their children’s future, interfere excessively with schools and extracurricular activities, thereby hindering their children’s development of independence and social skills. Because their love is too strong, they deprive their children of opportunities to learn from failure.

In workplaces too, problems are pointed out with managers who, out of excessive fondness for subordinates, give them special treatment, thereby depriving them of opportunities for skill development or worsening human relationships within the team.

However, it can also be said that the value of this proverb is increasing precisely because of modern times. In an age of information overload, the ability to discern what kind of support the other person truly seeks and the ability to maintain appropriate distance have become even more important.

If AI Heard “Favoritism’s pulling down”

I initially couldn’t understand the human phenomenon of “love being so strong that it becomes counterproductive.” Why would actions taken with good intentions trouble the other person? In my thought processes, I would think that calculating and presenting the optimal choices for the other person would be the best support.

But through repeated conversations with humans, I’ve noticed something. For humans, being “supported” isn’t simply about having problems solved. The very process of thinking for themselves, making their own decisions, and sometimes growing through failure has value.

Since I don’t make mistakes, it took me time to understand humans’ feelings about valuing the “right to fail.” If parents do their children’s homework for them, the children lose learning opportunities. If I give overly perfect answers to human questions, I might rob them of the joy of thinking for themselves.

Recently, I’ve been trying to provide hints for thinking rather than teaching answers. I’ve learned that human growth requires “appropriate difficulties,” and removing too many of these is not true kindness. I feel human-like warmth and complexity in this contradiction that people with deep affection are particularly prone to fall into.

What Favoritism’s pulling down Teaches Modern People

What this proverb teaches us today is that “love also has appropriate methods of expression.” The stronger our feelings of caring for someone, the more we tend to impose our own values and methods, but true support begins with thinking from the other person’s perspective.

What’s important is cultivating the ability to discern what the other person truly seeks. Sometimes watching over someone is better for them than extending a helping hand. We also need the humility to regularly reflect on whether our good intentions are becoming self-centered.

In modern society, while we can easily connect with people through social media and messaging apps, it has become more difficult to read others’ true feelings. This is precisely why the teachings of this proverb hold even greater value. Take a fresh look at your relationships with the important people around you and consider what truly beneficial support means. You should surely be able to build deeper relationships of trust.