Chaff Wife: Japanese Proverb Meaning

Proverbs

How to Read “糟糠の妻”

Soukō no tsuma

Meaning of “糟糠の妻”

“Chaff wife” refers to a wife who has shared hardships with her husband since the time when he was still poor and held a low social position.

This expression does not simply mean an old wife. It is a term filled with respect and gratitude toward a wife who has continued to support her husband since the impoverished times before his success. In terms of usage, it is employed when expressing a man’s feelings of cherishing his long-time wife even after achieving social success. It is also used when people around them show respect to the wife of a successful man.

Even today, it is sometimes used for the wives of company founders or wives who have supported their husbands since their days of struggling through school. The reason for using this expression is to emphasize that the marital bond is not just based on love alone, but represents a deep connection like comrades who have overcome difficulties together. It can be said to be very beautiful Japanese that expresses humility and gratitude that does not forget one’s origins even after gaining material wealth.

Origin and Etymology

The etymology of “Chaff wife” derives from the words of a person named Song Hong in the ancient Chinese classic “Book of the Later Han.” When Princess Huyang, the sister of Emperor Guangwu, lost her husband, the emperor recommended Song Hong as her remarriage partner. However, Song Hong replied, “One must not forget friends from times of poverty and lowliness, and one must not cast down the Chaff wife from the hall,” politely declining this offer.

“Chaff” refers to sake lees and rice bran, which were food for poor people of that time. In other words, “Chaff wife” means a wife who has shared hardships with her husband since he was still poor. Song Hong’s words meant “one must not forget friends from poor times, and must not abandon the wife who shared hardships.”

This historical tale was transmitted to Japan and became established as the proverb “Chaff wife.” Since it can be found in Edo period literature, it is considered to have been an expression beloved by Japanese people for quite a long time. This shows that Confucian values that emphasize marital bonds and duty were deeply rooted in Japanese culture as well.

Interesting Facts

The word “chaff” is unfamiliar to us today, but it is actually being reconsidered as a highly nutritious ingredient. Sake lees are rich in amino acids and B vitamins, while rice bran contains dietary fiber and minerals, and they are attracting attention as modern health foods.

In the era when this proverb was born, “chaff” was a symbol of poverty, but in modern times it has ironically become an ingredient beloved by health-conscious people – this is a truly ironic and interesting change.

Usage Examples

  • That company president is very successful, but I think it’s admirable how he treasures his Chaff wife
  • I can never be grateful enough to my Chaff wife who has supported me since the founding days

Modern Interpretation

In modern society, the expression “Chaff wife” finds itself in a complex position. Despite its originally beautiful meaning, it is sometimes used in contexts that look down on women. It is used with the mistaken interpretation of “old wife” or “aged wife,” and can be seen in situations where it is spoken of in contrast to new women.

However, precisely because we live in an information society today, the true value of this word should be rerecognized. The path to success for entrepreneurs and creators is more uncertain and difficult than ever before. In such an era, the existence of a partner who continues to believe in and support dreams without any economic return truly embodies the spirit of the “Chaff wife.”

In modern times, couples who support each other regardless of gender are increasing. There are cases where wives support their husbands’ entrepreneurship, and cases where husbands support their wives’ careers. The spirit of “Chaff wife” should be understood as “gratitude and respect for a partner who overcame difficult times together,” transcending gender.

In an era when success stories are gloriously told on social media, isn’t the humility of not forgetting gratitude to those who supported us behind the scenes becoming even more important?

When AI Hears This

The modern transformation of “sōkō no tsuma” (the wife who shared hardship) reflects a fundamental power shift in Japanese marital relationships. According to Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare statistics, dual-income households surpassed single-income households in 1997, reaching approximately 11.77 million households by 2022—nearly 70% of all households. This shift has expanded the concept of “sharing hardship” from being primarily the man’s burden to a mutual responsibility of both spouses.

Even more fascinating is the emergence of the “reverse sōkō” phenomenon. The National Tax Agency’s private sector salary survey reveals that about 15% of women earn over 6 million yen annually, with approximately 23% of households having wives who out-earn their husbands. In these families, we see an inverted dynamic where wives cherish husbands who supported them through economic difficulties, maintaining that devotion even after achieving success.

Particularly noteworthy is how female entrepreneurs and professionals in IT and healthcare express “gratitude toward husbands.” Social media posts increasingly feature messages like “grateful to my husband who handled housework before I started my business” and “my husband who encouraged me during certification studies is truly my sōkō husband.” This isn’t merely role reversal—it’s evidence that the proverb’s essential meaning—respect for those who shared difficulties—is being reinterpreted beyond gender boundaries. The modern concept of “sōkō” has evolved from a masculine virtue into a symbol of mutual respect within the marital partnership.

Lessons for Today

What “Chaff wife” teaches us today is the importance of not forgetting gratitude for the support behind our success. In modern society, individual achievements tend to get attention, but in reality, they are built upon the support of many people.

This lesson is not limited to marital relationships. Your present day might exist thanks to friends who encouraged you during difficult times, people who believed in you and invested, or family who quietly watched over you. Precisely when we achieve success or stability, we need the humility to look back on those origins.

Also, for those on the supporting side, these words offer hope. Efforts that seem unrewarded now may someday return as deep gratitude. In relationships where we support each other, the trust and bonds nurtured over time might be life’s true treasure. Precisely because we live in modern times, we should cherish this ancient wisdom.

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