How to Read “Mutual love, self-love, one-sided love, foolish love”
Aibore unubore katabore okabore
Meaning of “Mutual love, self-love, one-sided love, foolish love”
This proverb teaches us that people fall in love in many different ways. Some people find happy mutual love. Others misunderstand someone’s feelings and think they’re loved back.
Some experience one-sided crushes that aren’t returned. Others secretly admire someone from far away. Love comes in many forms, not just one.
People use this proverb when they want to accept that love is different for everyone. It helps us understand that all forms of love are natural human feelings.
When friends ask for love advice, or when you think about your own feelings, this saying reminds you to be understanding. Mutual love isn’t the only “right” kind of love.
One-sided crushes and secret admiration also have meaning and value. Each type of love matters in its own way.
Even today, everyone experiences love differently. Some people watch their crush on social media from far away. Others start relationships based on misunderstandings.
This proverb warmly tells us that any form of love is a natural human emotion. No type of love should be rejected or looked down on.
Origin and Etymology
We don’t know exactly when this proverb first appeared in writing. But people believe it came from common people during the Edo period (1603-1868).
The four words about love create a rhythmic pattern. People probably shared it by word of mouth, and it spread that way.
“Aibore” means mutual love where both people like each other. “Unubore” means thinking someone likes you when they don’t—it’s self-centered love.
“Katabore” means one-sided love or a crush. “Okabore” means secretly liking someone from far away.
The word “oka” is an old Japanese word meaning “side” or “edge.” It shows someone watching from the side or from a distance, not face-to-face.
The Edo period was when common people’s culture really grew. Writers created many stories about love and romance. Regular people’s love lives became popular topics in books.
People enjoyed finding words to describe the details of love. This proverb probably came from that cultural background.
It was created as a simple way to express how complex love can be. By listing four types of “love,” it shows how rich and complicated romantic feelings are, with a touch of humor.
Usage Examples
- When I listen to her love stories, I see mutual love, self-love, one-sided love, and foolish love—everyone’s feelings really are different
- Watching my classmates’ love lives is like seeing mutual love, self-love, one-sided love, and foolish love—it’s really interesting
Universal Wisdom
People have passed down this proverb because it perfectly captures how complex love is. Love is a basic human emotion that everyone feels.
When you like someone, they don’t always like you back the same way. Sometimes you misunderstand their feelings. Sometimes you’re happy just watching them from far away.
Love should be a feeling between two people. But in reality, everyone experiences love in different ways. Mutual love is the ideal form, but it’s just one type among many.
In real life, one-sided crushes, misunderstandings, and secret admirations might be more common. These experiences happen to most people more often than perfect mutual love.
This proverb teaches us that there’s no single “correct” way to love. Just because someone doesn’t like you back doesn’t mean your feelings are worthless.
Even if you’re the only one excited about the relationship, your emotions are real. They truly moved your heart. Even love from a distance has its own beauty.
Our ancestors watched people in love with warm understanding. They knew that any form of love shows our humanity. They didn’t expect perfect love.
They accepted that love is imperfect and comes in many forms. They understood that accepting different types of love is what helps us truly understand people.
When AI Hears This
These four states show classic examples of market failure and success caused by information asymmetry. In the romance market, “the other person’s feelings” is the most important information, but it can’t be observed.
Everyone must make decisions with incomplete information. In economics, markets fail when one side has information and the other doesn’t. Romance works the same way.
Self-love happens when someone mistakes polite smiles or conversation for “signals of interest.” They treat noise as valuable information and overestimate it.
One-sided love is complete information asymmetry—only one person has accurate information while the other has none. Foolish love is most interesting.
Here, even a third party who isn’t involved makes wrong conclusions from incomplete observation data. This is exactly how rumors and bubbles form in markets.
Mutual love is special because it’s a rare balanced state where information asymmetry is resolved. In game theory, conditions where both sides honestly reveal their feelings are extremely limited.
The person who reveals feelings first takes the risk. So both sides wait and watch—this creates a prisoner’s dilemma. The low probability of mutual love proves that romance markets are fundamentally inefficient in how they encourage information sharing.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches you not to expect perfection in love. You see happy couples on social media. But you don’t need to compare your love life to theirs and feel bad.
Mutual love isn’t the only wonderful kind of love. One-sided crushes and self-love also have their own meaning and value.
What matters most is not rejecting the feelings you have right now. Even if someone doesn’t like you back, the fact that you could like someone proves your heart is alive and rich.
Even if you misunderstood, the happiness you felt at that time was real. Even if you just watch from far away, that person adds color to your daily life. That makes your feelings valuable.
Modern society focuses too much on efficiency and results. But in love, results aren’t everything. Actually, experiencing different forms of love teaches you about deep human emotions.
It helps you understand other people better. Any form of love is an important experience that helps you grow.
Value your own feelings while warmly accepting how others love. When you can be this understanding, your life becomes much richer and more meaningful.
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