How to Read “Loss of affection starts from money”
Aisō zukashi wa kane kara okiru
Meaning of “Loss of affection starts from money”
“Loss of affection starts from money” means that even close relationships often break down because of money problems. This happens between friends, parents and children, married couples, and relatives.
When people lend or borrow money, or have money troubles, the trust and love they built can suddenly fall apart.
This proverb warns people about how serious money problems can be. People use it when advising someone to be careful before lending money.
It’s also used to explain situations where money troubles ruined a relationship. Money is concrete and measurable, so there’s no room for vagueness.
When someone breaks a promise about money, it becomes very clear. This makes emotional conflicts much worse. Even today, this lesson still rings true about how hard it is to handle money in relationships.
Origin and Etymology
Unfortunately, there are no clear historical records about where this proverb came from. However, we can learn interesting things by looking at the words themselves.
The term “aisō zukashi” was already being used during the Edo period (1603-1868). It originally meant that feelings of goodwill and friendliness toward someone completely disappeared.
“Zukashi” comes from the verb “tsukiru,” which means “to run out.” So it means using up all your affection for someone.
The phrase “starts from money” doesn’t just mean money itself. It refers to all kinds of problems involving money, like debts, lending and borrowing, and broken financial promises.
These money-related troubles create serious cracks in relationships. This has been a reality in human society since ancient times.
The Edo period saw major growth in business and trade. Money became a big part of everyday life for common people.
As people moved from bartering and credit trading to using cash, money troubles increased. In this social environment, people experienced a hard truth firsthand.
They learned that “even very close relationships can break when money problems happen.” This lesson gradually became crystallized into this proverb.
Usage Examples
- Two best friends stopped talking because of a loan. This is exactly “Loss of affection starts from money.”
- Even close friends can have their relationship destroyed when money gets involved. I think “Loss of affection starts from money” is really true.
Universal Wisdom
The proverb “Loss of affection starts from money” points to one of the most painful truths about human relationships. Why do money problems destroy relationships so completely?
It’s because money appears in the cold, hard form of numbers. Love and friendship are vague and unclear. When there are small misunderstandings or disagreements, people can forgive each other and say “it’s okay.”
But money is different. One thousand yen is one thousand yen. Ten thousand yen is ten thousand yen. Either you pay it back or you don’t. Either you pay or you don’t. There’s no vagueness here.
This clarity actually creates fatal cracks in human relationships.
What makes it even worse is that money problems feel like “betrayal of trust.” When someone doesn’t return borrowed money, it’s not just a financial loss.
The message received is: “You’re treating our promise lightly” or “You don’t value our relationship that much.” This is how it comes across.
Humans are emotional creatures. But at the same time, we’re practical beings who need money to survive. When these two sides clash, we face the most painful choices.
Our ancestors saw through this unavoidable human fate. They left this warning for future generations. The wisdom to balance money and relationships is a life challenge that hasn’t changed from past to present.
When AI Hears This
When we look at human relationships as a physics system, we discover something amazing. According to the second law of thermodynamics, all systems naturally move toward disorder if left alone.
Just like a cup of coffee cools down, order will always collapse without energy input.
Human relationships have the same structure. If we think of a relationship between two people as an “ordered state,” it needs continuous energy to maintain it.
Money spent on dates, gifts, and living expenses is exactly this energy. In physics, disorder speeds up the moment energy supply stops.
Just like food rots when you unplug the refrigerator, relationships quickly move toward the disordered state of “loss of affection” when money input stops.
What’s interesting is that this breakdown isn’t a moral problem. It’s a natural phenomenon following a basic law of the universe.
Just like a room gets messy if you don’t clean it, maintaining relationships costs effort. You can’t avoid this.
In other words, loss of affection starting from money isn’t about human greed. It’s the result of the physical law of increasing entropy applying to human relationships.
This proverb shows that keeping a relationship requires constant effort, like continuously lifting an object against gravity.
Lessons for Today
This proverb teaches modern people the importance of drawing clear boundaries between money and relationships. Because relationships are close, we should be extra careful with money matters.
Specifically, when lending money, ask yourself: “If this money never comes back, do I still want to keep this relationship?” If the answer is no, have the courage not to lend it in the first place.
If you’re borrowing money, always keep your promises, even with close friends. In fact, you should be even more honest than with strangers.
In modern society, split-payment apps and electronic payments are common. Money exchanges are easier than before. But this actually makes things more vague.
“Next time is fine” can pile up, and before you know it, it becomes a big source of frustration. Even with small amounts, settling up right away is actually the best way to protect relationships.
If you want to protect relationships with important people, treat money matters separately. This isn’t cold or mean. It’s actually wisdom that comes from caring about the other person.
To build relationships that money can’t break, let’s listen to the warnings of our ancestors.
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