How to Read “男は度胸、女は愛嬌”
Otoko wa dokyou, onna wa aikyou
Meaning of “男は度胸、女は愛嬌”
This proverb expresses that courage and decisiveness to face difficulties are important qualities for men, while charm and approachability that put people at ease are important qualities for women.
The “courage” referred to here is not mere recklessness, but the power to act with bravery when necessary after assessing the situation. It refers to the mental strength needed to face difficult situations without running away and to make important decisions. On the other hand, “charm” does not mean superficial friendliness, but rather the warmth that naturally arises from a caring heart and the human appeal that creates harmony in any atmosphere.
This proverb reflects the values of an era when gender roles were clearly defined, but originally it had a strong meaning of praising the respective strengths of men and women. It teaches the importance of utilizing each other’s characteristics for society as a whole to function well.
Origin and Etymology
The origin of this proverb is not certain, but it is believed to have spread among common people from the Edo period to the Meiji period. In the society of that time, the roles of men and women were clearly separated, and the qualities required of each were different.
The word “courage” originally developed from the Buddhist term “doryou,” meaning the bravery and decisiveness to face difficulties. Meanwhile, “charm” was used as a word expressing the appeal and approachability that puts people at ease.
It is presumed that the merchant culture of the Edo period was behind the birth of this proverb. In business, men needed courage for negotiations with business partners and challenges in new ventures, while women were valued for their charm in customer service at storefronts and as lubricants for human relationships. Also in the entertainment world, there was a tendency to require boldness from male performers and approachability from female performers.
In this way, as a proverb that succinctly expressed the social roles expected of each gender, it naturally arose in the lives of common people and spread through oral tradition.
Interesting Facts
The word “courage” originally came from the Buddhist term “doryou.” This is a word expressing the breadth of one’s heart, and is still used today in the expression “broad-minded.” In the Edo period, the written form “dokyou” was born, and the meaning of bravery and boldness became stronger.
The character “kyou” in “charm” actually represents “beautiful and graceful appearance.” In Chinese classics, it was often used when describing beautiful women. In Japan, the word “aikyou” has been used since the Heian period, meaning natural beauty that captivates people, beyond mere friendliness.
Usage Examples
- I was assigned a new project, but with man is courage, I decided to take it on
- She has such charm that she can naturally get along with any customer
Modern Interpretation
In modern society, this proverb is often criticized as representing outdated gender role divisions. With the advancement of gender equality, the stereotypes that “men should be brave” and “women should be friendly” are being reconsidered as limiting individual potential.
In fact, in today’s workplaces, it’s not uncommon for female leaders to make difficult decisions with courage, and for men to use their charm to smooth workplace relationships. In the IT industry, female entrepreneurs are making bold business expansions, and in care and education settings, men are excelling by utilizing their warm humanity.
However, when this proverb is interpreted regardless of gender, new value emerges. That is, humans need both “the courage to face difficulties” and “the charm to put people at ease.” Modern leadership theory also emphasizes the importance of combining strength and gentleness.
In the modern era where social media has become widespread, the meaning of “charm” in particular has changed. In online communication, thoughtfulness toward others and the ability to express oneself in ways that create harmony have become more important. Meanwhile, “courage” is also required regardless of gender as a necessary quality when challenging new technologies and services.
When AI Hears This
This proverb functions like an intricately designed “gender role vending machine.” When men press the “courage” button, their rights to emotional expression and vulnerability are confiscated, while when women press the “charm” button, their direct opinion-sharing and expressions of anger get collected by the system.
What’s particularly fascinating is how this machine comes wrapped in the sweet coating of “compliments.” Men pay the price of being evaluated as “courageous” by being judged as “unmanly” if they express anxiety or sadness, while women are praised for being “charming” yet get branded as “disagreeable” if they voice frank opposition.
According to psychologist Alice Eagly’s research, this kind of gender role rigidity can be explained through “role congruity theory.” Behaviors that deviate from socially expected roles are evaluated negatively, even when they’re perfectly rational.
What makes this system even more troublesome is how it gets justified under the banner of “traditional values.” Men are robbed of opportunities to develop emotional intelligence, while women find themselves in double binds when trying to demonstrate leadership. The result is a structural trap that stunts the complete personal growth of both genders as full human beings.
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches us today is that human appeal is multifaceted. The courage to face difficulties and the warmth to put people at ease. These two qualities are important powers that everyone should cultivate, regardless of gender.
In modern society, one person takes on various roles in different situations. In presentations, we convey our opinions with courage, and in teamwork, we use our charm to build relationships with colleagues. Such flexibility is required.
What’s important is believing in both possibilities within yourself. Don’t decide that “I’m shy so I don’t have courage” or “I’m too serious so I don’t have charm,” but develop the necessary qualities according to the situation. Courage grows through accumulating small challenges, and charm naturally arises from consideration for others.
You surely have both brave and gentle aspects within you. Please cherish and nurture them while expressing your own unique appeal.
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