How to Read “隣のおはぎと遠くの夕立来そうで来ない”
tonari no ohagi to tooku no yuudachi ki-sou de konai
Meaning of “隣のおはぎと遠くの夕立来そうで来ない”
This proverb expresses the frustration of both small, nearby expectations and large, distant expectations that are difficult to realize.
The neighbor’s rice cake symbolizes familiar pleasures within reach, while the distant evening shower represents the major changes we long for. Both “seem to come but do not come” – in other words, they refer to situations where we have expectations but things don’t go as we hope.
This proverb is used in situations where we are waiting for small pleasures or major changes in daily life. For example, it’s used when expecting small kindnesses from neighbors or life-changing events, but neither becomes reality.
Even today, we continue to wait for both small, nearby happiness and big chances that could change our lives. From small acknowledgments like “likes” on social media to life turning points like job changes or romance, our struggles with the gap between expectation and reality remain unchanged. This proverb accurately expresses this universal human psychology.
Origin and Etymology
Actually, when I researched this proverb, I couldn’t find it in general dictionaries or literature. This is a very interesting discovery.
The expression “Neighbor’s rice cake and distant evening shower seem to come but do not come” was likely either a regionally used phrase or possibly an expression born in relatively recent times.
Looking at the structure of the proverb, it contrasts “neighbor’s rice cake” and “distant evening shower” – something nearby versus something far away. Ohagi has been a confection beloved by common people since the Edo period and was often used as material for expressing relationships with neighbors. Meanwhile, evening showers refer to sudden afternoon rain in summer, and the expression “seem to come but do not come” is a characteristic Japanese way of expressing the gap between expectation and reality.
The background of this proverb’s creation is presumably deeply connected to Japan’s housing environment and climate characteristics. It combines elements rooted in Japanese daily life: Japan’s housing situation where neighbors live close together, and the changeable summer weather.
From the perspective of word formation, it can be said to be an expression imbued with distinctly Japanese sensibility, having a contrastive structure between nearby and distant expectations.
Usage Examples
- Neighbor’s rice cake and distant evening shower seem to come but do not come – today was another day when nothing happened
- Both contact from that person and talk of promotion are like neighbor’s rice cake and distant evening shower seem to come but do not come
Modern Interpretation
In modern society, the meaning of this proverb has become more multi-layered. This is because we live constantly surrounded by countless “expectations” in our information society.
On social media, we see others’ happy-looking posts and feel the nearby envy of “neighbor’s rice cake.” Meanwhile, influencers’ success stories and entrepreneurs’ success tales stir up longing for major changes like “distant evening showers.” However, both are stories from beyond the screen that rarely become our own reality.
With technological advancement, the objects of expectation have also changed. App notifications, online shopping deliveries, video view counts – things unique to the digital age that “seem to come but do not come” have increased. Especially for modern people accustomed to getting immediate results, “waiting” itself has become stressful.
Also, the concept of “neighbor” has changed in modern times. Not just physical neighbors, but people connected online have also become “neighbors.” Now that remote work has spread, colleagues’ promotions and friends’ romantic successes are also felt as “neighbor’s rice cake” – nearby yet out of reach.
This proverb can be said to have acquired new meaning expressing the gap between expectation and reality in the digital age.
When AI Hears This
The psychological structure depicted in this proverb aligns remarkably with modern FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). When Edo period people expressed “the neighbor’s rice cake looks edible but can’t be eaten, the distant evening shower seems like it will come but never arrives,” they were describing exactly what modern people feel when scrolling through social media.
From a psychological perspective, this involves a cognitive bias called “availability heuristic.” The human brain tends to perceive visible information as more important than it actually is, making the neighbor’s rice cake (other people’s social media posts) appear more attractive than reality. Meanwhile, expectations for the distant evening shower (low-probability ideals) are overestimated due to what psychologist Daniel Kahneman identified as “optimism bias.”
What’s fascinating is that while physical distance was the constraint in the Edo period, today it’s informational distance that creates problems. With smartphone proliferation, other people’s “rice cakes” remain visible 24/7, and research shows that 69% of people with FOMO symptoms check social media multiple times daily.
This proverb proves that despite technological changes, fundamental human psychological patterns remain unchanged. The folly that Edo commoners recognized—being captivated by things that are visible but unattainable rather than focusing on present reality—has only intensified in our digital society.
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches us today is how to skillfully deal with expectations. Both small nearby happiness and distant big dreams are things that “seem to come but do not come,” which is precisely why there’s meaning in cherishing this present moment.
In modern society, we tend to seek immediate results, but this proverb reminds us of the value of “waiting.” Rather than just envying the neighbor’s rice cake, we should look at what’s in our own hands. Rather than just waiting for distant evening showers, we should also turn our hearts to today’s small cloud movements. Such mental composure creates a rich life.
Also, rather than fearing that expectations won’t be fulfilled, it’s important to enjoy the time of having expectations itself. The situation of “seem to come but do not come” may actually be precious time that exercises our imagination and enriches our hearts.
Why don’t you also try, starting today, to savor the “now” that exists between holding both small nearby expectations and distant big dreams? You’re sure to make new discoveries.
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