How to Read “同病相憐れむ”
Dōbyō ai awaremu
Meaning of “同病相憐れむ”
“Same disease mutually pity” means that people who have experienced similar suffering or difficulties deeply understand each other and empathize with one another.
The “disease” here does not necessarily refer to medical illness, but represents “affliction” in a broader sense, including worries, difficulties, and hardships. And “pity” does not mean mere sympathy, but rather truly understanding and caring for someone by putting yourself in their position.
This proverb is used when people who have had similar painful experiences meet. For example, it’s used in situations where people who have failed entrance exams, experienced heartbreak, or faced setbacks at work can deeply understand each other’s feelings.
The reason this expression is used is because there is pain and suffering that can only be understood by those who have had the same experience. Emotions that are difficult for others to understand can be communicated without explanation to someone in the same circumstances. Even today, this relationship of deep empathy and understanding remains unchanged and plays an important role in human connections.
Origin and Etymology
The origin of “Same disease mutually pity” can be traced back to classical Chinese literature. This expression is thought to have come from the Chinese phrase “同病相憐” that was transmitted to Japan.
The word “pity” holds an important key. While it is often used in modern times to mean “feeling sorry for someone,” in its classical meaning it was a word that expressed deeper empathy, meaning “to care for” or “to show compassion.” In other words, it indicated not mere sympathy, but a heart connection based on true understanding.
The background to this phrase taking root in Japan lies in the Japanese “culture of perception.” Because there was a cultural foundation of understanding and empathizing with others’ feelings without putting them into words, this proverb became deeply established.
This expression, which can also be found scattered throughout Edo period literature, was widely used from samurai society to common people. It is thought to have functioned as a spiritual pillar for supporting each other, particularly among people placed in difficult situations. The reason it continues to be loved across the ages is because it is a universal expression of humanity’s fundamental capacity for empathy.
Interesting Facts
The character for “disease” in “Same disease mutually pity” originally contains the character “丙” within the “illness radical.” This “丙” had the meaning of “bright” or “flourishing” in ancient China. In other words, before the concept of illness was born, it represented a state where something was becoming “too flourishing” within the body.
Similar expressions exist in countries around the world, but the warmth of the Japanese word “pity” is unique. Unlike the English words “sympathy” or “pity,” it characteristically expresses a caring from an equal standpoint, not from a condescending perspective.
Usage Examples
- When talking with a friend who is struggling with job hunting, I end up feeling “same disease mutually pity”
- Mom friends who have child-rearing worries support each other with feelings of “same disease mutually pity”
Modern Interpretation
In modern society, the meaning of “Same disease mutually pity” has become more complex. With the spread of social media, people with similar worries can easily connect. In online communities, various “same disease” people support each other – depression patients, couples undergoing fertility treatment, families troubled by caregiving, and so on.
However, there are aspects of digital-age empathy that require caution. There are cases where it tends to remain at superficial empathy and doesn’t reach the deep understanding that the original “pity” possessed. There’s also the pointed-out danger of falling into “codependent” relationships where continuously sharing negative emotions actually worsens the situation.
On the other hand, the diversity of modern society has given new value to this proverb. LGBTQ+ individuals, foreign workers, single mothers, and others who previously had difficulty speaking up in society now have increased opportunities to meet peers in the same position and gain true understanding.
As globalization progresses, “Same disease mutually pity” relationships that transcend national borders are also emerging. Empathy and solidarity on a global scale are forming among people in regions affected by climate change, those suffering from economic disparity, and others. The essential human capacity for empathy that this proverb represents may actually be increasing in importance in modern times.
When AI Hears This
The phenomenon of “fellow sufferers sympathizing with each other” in the SNS era unfolds at unprecedented scale and speed, while its very essence undergoes fundamental transformation. Traditionally, small groups of people sharing similar hardships in physically close proximity formed deep bonds, but now countless individuals with comparable experiences across the globe can connect instantaneously.
The most significant characteristic of this shift is the “democratization of empathy.” Minority concerns that previously had no voice can now find others in similar circumstances through a single hashtag. People with rare diseases, sexual minorities, and those facing unique occupational challenges—individuals who would typically remain isolated in the physical world—can now support one another.
However, this has simultaneously led to the “dilution of empathy.” On social media, empathy is expressed through lightweight actions like “likes” and retweets, making it difficult for these interactions to develop into deep understanding or sustained support. Additionally, algorithms that cluster similar posts create “echo chamber phenomena,” where problems that should ideally be addressed through diverse perspectives end up as mere mutual consolation among like-minded individuals.
Even more troubling is the rise of “competitive victimhood.” Situations increasingly emerge where people compete over who faces more serious circumstances, generating conflict rather than empathy. The warm solidarity that characterized the traditional concept of “fellow sufferers sympathizing with each other” has transformed into a complex and contradictory phenomenon in digital spaces.
Lessons for Today
What “Same disease mutually pity” teaches us today is the value of true empathy. It shows the importance of not superficial comfort, but the attitude of trying to truly understand by putting yourself in the other person’s position.
In modern society, shallow empathy like just pressing “like” on social media tends to increase, but what truly supports people is deep understanding from someone who has had similar experiences. When you’re in a difficult situation, you’ve surely experienced how much the words of someone who has walked the same path resonate in your heart.
And this proverb also teaches us the meaning of becoming the “giving side.” The difficulties you’ve overcome can become an irreplaceable light of hope for someone who is currently suffering in the same situation. By sharing your experiences, you can support someone’s heart.
This power of deep empathy is needed especially in modern times. In our diversifying society, understanding each other’s pain and building relationships where we can support one another – that is the first step toward creating a richer and warmer society.


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