Less of your courtesy, and more of … – Meaning & Wisdom

Proverbs

How to Read “Less of your courtesy, and more of your purse”

“Less of your courtesy, and more of your purse”
[LES ov yor KUR-tuh-see, and MOR ov yor PURS]
The word “courtesy” means polite manners and behavior.

Meaning of “Less of your courtesy, and more of your purse”

Simply put, this proverb means that generous actions matter more than polite words.

The literal words contrast two things: courtesy and purse. Courtesy refers to polite manners and kind words. Your purse represents money and material help. The saying suggests that people need less empty politeness and more real assistance. It points out that being polite without helping is not very useful.

We use this idea today when someone offers sympathy but no real help. If a friend says they care about your problems but never offers practical support, this proverb applies. It shows up in situations where people give compliments or kind words instead of actual assistance. The saying reminds us that actions often speak louder than words.

What’s interesting about this wisdom is how it challenges social norms. Most people are taught that good manners are important. This proverb suggests that generosity trumps politeness. It reveals a tension between appearing kind and actually being helpful. Many people realize that empty courtesy can feel hollow when they really need support.

Origin and Etymology

The exact origin of this proverb is unknown, but it appears in English literature from several centuries ago.

This type of saying emerged during times when social class differences were very pronounced. Wealthy people often displayed elaborate manners and formal courtesy. Meanwhile, those in need required practical help more than polite conversation. The proverb reflects frustration with empty social rituals when real problems needed solving.

Sayings like this spread through communities where people valued practical help over formal behavior. The contrast between courtesy and purse would have been especially meaningful in societies with clear economic divisions. Over time, the saying evolved to apply to any situation where actions matter more than words. It reached modern usage as a reminder to prioritize substance over style.

Interesting Facts

The word “courtesy” comes from Old French, originally meaning behavior suitable for a royal court. Courts were known for elaborate manners but not always for genuine kindness. The word “purse” historically referred to a small bag for carrying coins, representing someone’s financial resources and ability to give material help.

Usage Examples

  • Landlord to tenant: “You keep apologizing about late rent but never actually pay – Less of your courtesy, and more of your purse.”
  • Customer to waiter: “Stop asking if everything’s fine and bring me the check I requested – Less of your courtesy, and more of your purse.”

Universal Wisdom

This proverb reveals a fundamental tension in human social behavior between appearance and substance. Throughout history, people have developed elaborate social rituals and polite behaviors that signal good intentions. Yet these same rituals can become substitutes for actual helpful action. The wisdom recognizes that humans often choose the easier path of offering kind words rather than making real sacrifices to help others.

The saying touches on a deeper truth about resource allocation and social responsibility. When someone faces genuine hardship, they need tangible assistance more than emotional comfort. This creates a conflict between what feels good to give and what actually helps. Offering courtesy requires little personal cost, while opening your purse demands real sacrifice. The proverb acknowledges this uncomfortable reality about human nature and social dynamics.

What makes this wisdom universal is how it exposes the gap between intention and impact. Every culture develops ways to show care and concern through words and gestures. But the fundamental human need for practical support remains constant across all societies. The proverb serves as a reminder that good intentions without corresponding actions can become a form of selfishness disguised as kindness. It challenges us to examine whether our expressions of care translate into meaningful help for those who need it most.

When AI Hears This

Courtesy works like fake money in social situations. People spend energy on polite words and gestures. But this “social currency” loses value when overused. Everyone gets caught up in being more polite than others. The real help people need gets pushed aside. Elaborate manners become the goal instead of actual assistance.

Humans create these courtesy competitions without realizing it. Being polite feels safer than offering real help. Real help requires risk and genuine effort. Courtesy lets people look good while staying protected. This pattern repeats across all cultures and time periods. People mistake the signal for the actual thing being signaled.

This behavior reveals something beautiful about human complexity. Courtesy inflation shows people desperately want to connect and help. They just get lost in the performance of caring. The proverb cuts through this confusion with brutal honesty. It demands authenticity when politeness has become meaningless theater. Sometimes humans need this wake-up call to remember their true purpose.

Lessons for Today

Living with this wisdom requires honest self-examination about how we help others. The insight challenges us to notice when we offer sympathy instead of solutions, or when we express concern without taking action. This doesn’t mean courtesy has no value, but rather that it should accompany rather than replace practical assistance. Recognition comes from observing our own patterns and asking whether our responses truly serve others or mainly make us feel better about ourselves.

In relationships, this wisdom transforms how we support friends and family during difficult times. Instead of only offering encouraging words, we can look for concrete ways to help. This might mean providing financial assistance, spending time on practical tasks, or using our skills and connections to solve problems. The key insight is that people often need our resources more than our reassurance, even when asking for help feels uncomfortable for everyone involved.

At a community level, this principle shapes how groups respond to collective challenges. Organizations and societies that embrace this wisdom focus on measurable outcomes rather than symbolic gestures. They recognize that good intentions must be backed by committed resources to create real change. While this approach requires more effort and sacrifice, it builds trust and creates lasting solutions. The wisdom reminds us that authentic care reveals itself through action, and that our willingness to share our resources often matters more than our ability to share kind words.

Comments

Proverbs, Quotes & Sayings from Around the World | Sayingful
Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognising you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful.