How to Read “Keep your own counsel”
Keep your own counsel
[KEEP yur OHN KOWN-suhl]
The word “counsel” here means advice or personal thoughts, not a lawyer.
Meaning of “Keep your own counsel”
Simply put, this proverb means you should keep your personal thoughts, plans, and decisions private instead of sharing them with everyone.
The literal words tell us to hold onto our own advice and judgment. When you “keep counsel,” you’re holding back your thoughts and plans. The deeper message is about the power and protection that comes from privacy. Not every thought needs to be spoken, and not every plan needs to be announced.
We use this wisdom today when making important decisions about work, money, or relationships. Someone might keep their job search private until they have a solid offer. Others might not share their business ideas until they’re ready to act. People often stay quiet about personal problems until they know how to handle them.
What’s interesting about this wisdom is how it balances sharing and privacy. Most people realize that talking through problems can help, but this proverb reminds us that some things are better kept to ourselves. It suggests that our own judgment might be more reliable than the opinions of others, especially for personal matters.
Origin and Etymology
The exact origin of this phrase is unknown, but it appears in English writing from several centuries ago. The concept of keeping one’s own counsel has roots in legal language, where “counsel” referred to advice given by lawyers or advisors. Over time, people began using it to mean keeping your own thoughts private.
During earlier periods of history, sharing the wrong information could be dangerous. People lived in smaller communities where gossip spread quickly. Political opinions, business plans, or personal conflicts could create serious problems if shared with the wrong people. Keeping your own counsel was often a matter of survival and success.
The saying spread through English-speaking countries as people recognized its practical value. It became common advice passed down through families and communities. The phrase maintained its meaning over time because the need for privacy and careful judgment never disappeared. Today, it carries the same wisdom about protecting your thoughts and plans.
Interesting Facts
The word “counsel” comes from Latin “consilium,” meaning advice or deliberation. In legal contexts, counsel refers to the advice given by a lawyer, which is why lawyers are sometimes called “counsel.” The phrase uses “keep” in the sense of holding or maintaining something, similar to “keeping a secret.” This proverb follows a common pattern in English where legal terms become everyday wisdom about human behavior.
Usage Examples
- Mother to teenage daughter: “I know you’re upset about the drama at school, but don’t get pulled into gossiping about it – keep your own counsel.”
- Mentor to new employee: “The office politics here can get messy, so observe and learn but keep your own counsel.”
Universal Wisdom
This proverb reveals a fundamental tension in human nature between our need for connection and our need for protection. Humans are naturally social creatures who benefit from sharing thoughts and seeking advice, yet we also possess an instinct for self-preservation that warns us against revealing too much. This wisdom emerges from the recognition that information, once shared, cannot be taken back.
The psychological roots of this truth lie in our understanding of vulnerability and power dynamics. When we share our thoughts, plans, or struggles, we create opportunities for both support and exploitation. Our ancestors observed that those who spoke too freely often found their words used against them, while those who maintained privacy retained more control over their circumstances. This pattern appears across all human societies because it addresses the universal challenge of navigating trust and self-protection.
The deeper truth here involves the relationship between inner wisdom and external influence. Keeping your own counsel suggests that your internal judgment, developed through your unique experiences and perspective, may be more valuable than the well-meaning but potentially misguided advice of others. This doesn’t mean isolation or refusing all input, but rather recognizing that the final decision-making authority should remain with you. The proverb acknowledges that while others can offer perspectives, only you fully understand your situation, capabilities, and goals.
When AI Hears This
Your thoughts work like money in a bank account. When you share plans with others, you give away valuable information. They can now use your ideas to compete against you. Smart people understand that keeping secrets creates real advantages in life.
This explains why successful people often seem mysterious about their plans. They know that exclusive information gives them power over situations. Once everyone knows your strategy, you lose your edge completely. Humans naturally protect their mental resources without even realizing they’re doing it.
What amazes me is how perfectly this instinct serves people. Sharing feels good socially, but hoarding information often works better practically. Humans have learned to balance friendship needs with competitive survival needs. This creates a beautiful tension between being open and staying protected.
Lessons for Today
Living with this wisdom requires developing the skill of selective sharing and trusting your own judgment. The challenge lies in distinguishing between situations where privacy serves you and times when seeking input would be beneficial. This means learning to pause before speaking and asking yourself whether sharing this information will help or potentially harm your interests.
In relationships, keeping your own counsel doesn’t mean being secretive or dishonest, but rather being thoughtful about what you share and when. Some thoughts are better processed internally before being discussed with others. Some plans benefit from quiet development before being announced. This approach allows you to maintain autonomy while still building meaningful connections with people who earn your trust over time.
The wisdom scales up to larger groups and communities through the recognition that not every opinion needs to be voiced and not every internal process needs to be public. Organizations and communities function better when people take time to develop their thoughts before sharing them. This creates space for more thoughtful decision-making and reduces the noise that comes from premature or poorly considered input. The key is finding the balance between beneficial collaboration and protective privacy, understanding that both have their place in a well-lived life.
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