How to Read “Give not counsel to one who is not thankful for it”
Give not counsel to one who is not thankful for it
[GIVE not KOWN-sel to wun hoo iz not THANK-ful for it]
“Counsel” means advice or guidance.
Meaning of “Give not counsel to one who is not thankful for it”
Simply put, this proverb means you should not waste your advice on people who do not value it.
The literal words tell us to avoid giving counsel to ungrateful people. Counsel means advice or guidance that comes from experience or wisdom. When someone is not thankful for advice, they show they do not value it. The deeper message warns us that our efforts to help others can be wasted on the wrong people.
We use this wisdom when dealing with stubborn friends, family members, or coworkers. If someone keeps asking for advice but never follows it, this proverb applies. When people dismiss your guidance or act annoyed by your suggestions, they are showing ungratefulness. Your time and energy could be better spent helping those who actually want to improve.
What makes this wisdom interesting is how it protects both the advice-giver and receiver. People often realize that giving unwanted advice can damage relationships. It can make you feel frustrated and the other person feel judged. The proverb teaches us to recognize when our help is truly wanted versus when it is just being tolerated.
Origin and Etymology
The exact origin of this proverb is unknown, though similar wisdom appears in various forms throughout history. Ancient cultures valued the relationship between teachers and students, advisors and rulers. The concept of grateful learning was considered essential for wisdom to be passed down effectively.
During medieval times, the role of counselors and advisors was highly respected in society. Kings had trusted advisors, and craftsmen had apprentices who were expected to show gratitude for instruction. The idea that advice should only be given to receptive ears made practical sense in these structured learning relationships.
This type of saying spread through oral tradition and written collections of wisdom. Over time, the language became more formal, using words like “counsel” instead of simple “advice.” The proverb reached modern usage through various collections of traditional sayings, maintaining its core message about the importance of mutual respect in guidance relationships.
Interesting Facts
The word “counsel” comes from Latin “consilium,” meaning advice or deliberation. In medieval times, a counselor was an official advisor to nobility. The phrase “give not” uses an older English construction that sounds more formal than modern speech. This grammatical style was common in traditional proverbs to give them authority and memorability.
Usage Examples
- Mother to father: “He keeps dismissing every suggestion we make about his grades – give not counsel to one who is not thankful for it.”
- Coworker to manager: “She rolled her eyes at my feedback again and walked away – give not counsel to one who is not thankful for it.”
Universal Wisdom
This proverb reveals a fundamental truth about how wisdom transfers between people. Humans have always needed to learn from each other to survive and thrive. Yet the process of teaching and learning requires something beyond just sharing information. It demands a relationship built on mutual respect and genuine desire for growth.
The psychological roots run deep in our social nature. When someone offers advice, they are sharing part of their experience and investing emotional energy in another person’s success. If that investment is met with indifference or resistance, it creates a natural frustration. Our brains are wired to notice when our efforts to help are appreciated versus when they are dismissed. This recognition helps us allocate our limited time and energy more effectively.
What makes this wisdom timeless is how it addresses the delicate balance between helping others and protecting ourselves. Throughout human history, those who freely shared their knowledge with grateful learners created stronger communities and passed on valuable skills. Meanwhile, those who wasted their guidance on ungrateful recipients often became discouraged and stopped sharing altogether. The proverb captures this ancient understanding that wisdom flows best through channels of appreciation and respect, not through forced or unwelcome instruction.
When AI Hears This
Advice-giving works like a hidden energy system inside human relationships. When someone shares wisdom, they spend mental effort and emotional care. They invest time thinking about your specific situation. They risk being wrong or seeming foolish. Without gratitude as payment, this energy drain becomes unsustainable. Even generous people eventually stop giving advice to ungrateful recipients.
This pattern reveals how humans unconsciously protect their limited resources. People naturally track who appreciates their help versus who ignores it. Your brain remembers which relationships feel rewarding and which feel draining. Gratitude signals that your advice has value and impact. Without this feedback, humans assume their wisdom is worthless to that person. This automatic response protects advisors from endless energy loss.
The beauty lies in how gratitude creates sustainable wisdom sharing. Thankful people receive more guidance throughout their lives than ungrateful ones. They build networks of mentors and supporters who genuinely want to help. Meanwhile, ungrateful people unknowingly cut themselves off from valuable knowledge. This system rewards appreciation while naturally limiting advice waste. Human wisdom flows toward those who value it most.
Lessons for Today
Living with this wisdom requires developing sensitivity to how others receive your guidance. The challenge lies in recognizing the difference between someone who genuinely wants help and someone who is just going through the motions. People often ask for advice when they really want sympathy or validation, not actual direction for change.
In relationships, this understanding can prevent many conflicts and disappointments. When family members or friends seem resistant to suggestions, stepping back often preserves the relationship better than pushing forward. At work, recognizing which colleagues value input versus those who see it as interference can improve professional dynamics. The key is learning to offer guidance in ways that invite gratitude rather than demand it.
The broader application extends to how communities share knowledge and support growth. Groups that cultivate appreciation for wisdom-sharing tend to develop stronger learning cultures. This happens naturally when people feel their contributions are valued rather than taken for granted. The ancient insight reminds us that the most effective teaching happens when both parties recognize the value of the exchange, creating a foundation where wisdom can truly take root and flourish.
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