How to Read “亭主の好きな赤烏帽子”
teishu no sukina aka eboshi
Meaning of “亭主の好きな赤烏帽子”
This proverb expresses how a wife, out of deep love for her husband, willingly complies with all of his preferences and demands.
What’s particularly important is that it depicts the psychology of a wife who, due to her affection, convinces herself that something is good even when it’s objectively wasteful or meaningless from her husband’s perspective. Like a red eboshi, even something that appears outdated and impractical to everyone else can seem wonderful if her beloved husband favors it.
This proverb is used in situations where a wife blindly supports her husband’s hobbies or preferences. Even when others think “that’s not good” or “it’s wasteful,” only the wife takes her husband’s side and affirms his choices. In such cases, people say “that’s truly Master’s favorite red cap.” While it expresses the depth of love, it also carries the implication of losing some objectivity. Even in modern times, there are many situations in marital relationships where affection for one’s partner influences judgment, and this proverb is understood as an accurate expression of such human psychology.
Origin and Etymology
The origin of this proverb is deeply rooted in marital relationships and social systems of the Edo period. “Red eboshi” refers to red-colored eboshi caps worn by court nobles and samurai men from the Heian period through the Muromachi period. However, by the Edo period, red eboshi had already become outdated accessories.
According to common theory, this proverb originated among merchant families and townspeople during the Edo period. In the society of that time, husbands held absolute authority as heads of households, and it was considered virtuous for wives to follow their husbands’ wishes. In such circumstances, if a beloved husband said “I want a red eboshi,” the wife would gladly prepare it, no matter how outdated and impractical it might be.
The reason red eboshi was chosen lies in its impracticality. For people of the Edo period, red eboshi symbolized “something obviously useless to anyone.” There could be no better example to express a wife’s feelings of wanting to do anything for her husband’s sake. This proverb became established as an interesting expression that reflected both the beauty of marital love and the position of women at that time.
Interesting Facts
In the Heian period when red eboshi were actually used, there were strict rules about eboshi colors based on social status. Red eboshi could be worn by people of relatively high rank, but by the Edo period, the class system had changed, and old accessories came to be recognized simply as “old things.”
Interestingly, the word “teishu” (master/husband) that appears in this proverb originally referred to the owner of a tea house or restaurant. It gradually came to refer to husbands in ordinary households and was completely established by the Edo period.
Usage Examples
- My mother praises my father’s antique collecting, but it’s truly Master’s favorite red cap
- Seeing her lavishly praise her boyfriend’s poor singing reminds me of the phrase Master’s favorite red cap
Modern Interpretation
In modern society, the values underlying this proverb have changed significantly. From the Edo period concept of “wives who obey their husbands,” the modern ideal has become equal partnership. Therefore, this proverb is often used with new interpretations.
In the age of social media, it’s sometimes used in the context of “fan activities” and “otaku culture.” The psychology of convincing oneself that objectively overpriced merchandise is a “wonderful investment” for the sake of a favorite idol or character can truly be called a modern version of the “red eboshi” phenomenon.
Also, it’s now used regardless of gender. It applies when husbands blindly support their wives’ hobbies, between lovers, and even in friendships. It’s understood in a broader sense as an expression of the universal human psychology of “having one’s judgment clouded by affection or goodwill.”
On the other hand, the aspect of this proverb as a warning against “blind affection” is also important. Since modern society values individual independence and objective judgment, it can be said to have new value as an expression that teaches us the importance of balancing affection for others with our own values.
When AI Hears This
The color system of the Edo period reflected a strict class hierarchy. Red occupied a particularly interesting position—for commoners, it was “a luxury item using expensive dyes that were difficult to obtain,” while the samurai class avoided it as “too flashy and lacking in dignity.”
The dyeing techniques of that era required high-grade dyes like safflower and madder to produce vivid red. For example, safflower dyeing was so expensive it was said to cost the same as its weight in silver, making it a color beyond the reach of ordinary people. Simply owning a red cap meant a considerable expense.
Meanwhile, in samurai society, red was considered “a frivolous and restless color” and was avoided in formal settings. Among the preference for subdued colors like black, navy, and brown, choosing red was nothing more than a personal hobby that ignored practicality.
Even more interesting is that red was also viewed as “a childish color.” While red was frequently used in warrior dolls and children’s clothing, it was considered immature for adult men to wear.
In other words, a “red cap” was an item that, despite being expensive, was socially meaningless and could even invite negative judgment. This is precisely why it functioned as the perfect symbol of a husband’s incomprehensible hobbies and preferences.
Lessons for Today
What this proverb teaches us today is the importance of balancing affection with objectivity. The desire to support important people is wonderful, but sometimes it’s necessary to step back and look at situations calmly.
In modern society, if we truly wish for someone’s growth, constructive dialogue is more important than blind agreement. Supporting a partner’s new challenges while also conveying frank advice when necessary – building such mature relationships can be called modern expressions of love.
It’s also important to reflect on whether we ourselves are in a “red eboshi” state. If we’re thinking of our loved ones, we need to continue sharpening our own judgment as well. True affection might mean growing together with the other person.
You too should remember this proverb in relationships with important people. Supporting each other with deep affection while respecting each other’s individuality and growth – it would be wonderful if we could build such warm and healthy relationships.
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