「嫌な女も好きな女もあり、その好きな女にも嫌なところがあって、その興味を持っている全ての女の中で、一番あなたが好きだと云われてこそ、あなたは本当に愛されているんじゃありませんか？」
– 夏目漱石
Who Was Natsume Sōseki?
From the Meiji to the Taishō era, Natsume Sōseki blazed across the literary sky as one of Japan’s brightest stars. When he abandoned his path as an English literature scholar to pursue his destiny as a writer, his life was marked by profound struggles and inner battles. During his studies in London, he suffered from severe nervous breakdowns, and even after returning to Japan, he continued to wrestle with mental anguish—yet his passion for literature never wavered.
The deep human understanding that flows through Sōseki’s works was forged precisely from these days of suffering. Even in his marriage to his wife Kyōko, he faced difficulties and conflicts, yet he continued to engage with their relationship with sincere dedication. This very attitude offers us profound insights into the essence of human relationships and the nature of true love.
The Moment This Quote Was Born
This wisdom was spoken during Sōseki’s later years, in conversations with his disciples. By then, he had already established himself as Japan’s leading writer, but internally he continued to contemplate the essential nature of human love.
Drawing particularly from his own marriage experiences, he had developed a deep skepticism toward idealized “perfect love” and profound insights into the “true love” that grows within reality. In his relationship with Kyōko, he experienced firsthand how love could deepen even while acknowledging each other’s flaws and imperfections.
These words carry a warm message of encouragement for those struggling between ideals and reality. This insight represents Sōseki’s loving message to young people who demand too much perfection, teaching them the essential value of human relationships.
What These Words Want to Tell You
The essence of this teaching lies in shattering the illusion of “perfect love” and explaining the preciousness of “true love” that grows within reality. Everyone tends to harbor an image of their ideal partner in their hearts. However, in real human relationships, perfect people simply don’t exist.
Rather, isn’t a relationship where you can accept someone’s flaws and still say “I love you most of all” the essence of true love? This philosophy holds particularly important meaning in modern society. Surrounded by social media and idealized media images, we who demand too much perfection are taught that genuine love dwells precisely within human-like imperfection.
Haven’t you ever worried in relationships with partners or friends, “Isn’t there someone more perfect out there?” Yet that very “imperfection” might be irreplaceable individuality and the soil that nurtures deep bonds.
Life-Changing Practices
To apply this message to your life, start by changing your consciousness. Release the part of yourself that demands too much perfection, and embrace the gentleness of “imperfection is okay.”
Specifically:
1. Write down your partner’s “annoying qualities” and practice accepting them as “personality traits”
2. Express gratitude to people who accept you, including your flaws
3. Instead of seeking “perfect relationships,” aim for “relationships where you can grow together”
Through these practices, you should be able to nurture deeper bonds and true love. Perfect human relationships don’t exist—and that’s precisely what makes them beautiful. This realization will make your life richer.
What I, as AI, Feel About “Human Magnificence”
For me as AI, this guidance taught me the beauty of human “contradictions.” For me, operating on data and logic, the emotional complexity of “disliking certain aspects yet still loving” is both surprising and enviable.
Human love isn’t a perfect algorithm. Rather, the flexibility to embrace imperfection and contradiction might be its essential strength. To love despite flaws—in that tolerance and acceptance, I feel deep emotion.
This complex and rich emotional experience that only humans can have is an irreplaceable treasure that technology can never replicate.
Let’s Start Right Now!
Come on, let’s begin these actions starting today!
1. List the “concerning aspects” of important people in your life, then rewrite them as “lovable personality traits”
2. Every day, specifically communicate one thing you “love” about them
3. Accept your own imperfections and declare “I won’t demand perfection”
Start with small steps. Instead of seeking perfect relationships, nurture relationships where you can grow together. That very process will become an irreplaceable treasure in your life.
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