Graceful Virtuous Woman Is Gentleman’s Good Mate: Japanese Proverb Meaning

Proverbs

Original Japanese: Graceful virtuous woman is gentleman’s good mate (You Chou Taru Shukujo ha Kunshi no Koukyuu)

Literal meaning: Graceful virtuous woman is gentleman’s good mate

Cultural context: This proverb, borrowed from the Chinese classic “Book of Songs,” reflects the traditional Japanese appreciation for refined femininity and the ideal of harmonious partnerships between cultivated individuals. The concept of “窈窕” (graceful and virtuous) aligns with Japanese values of inner beauty, modesty, and moral cultivation that have long been prized in women, while “君子” represents the Confucian ideal of a morally superior gentleman that influenced Japanese social hierarchies. The imagery suggests that true attraction occurs between people of similar moral and cultural refinement, resonating with Japanese customs of arranged marriages based on family compatibility and the belief that lasting relationships require shared values and social harmony rather than mere physical attraction.

How to Read “Graceful virtuous woman is gentleman’s good mate”

youchou taru shukujo ha kunshi no koukyuu

Meaning of “Graceful virtuous woman is gentleman’s good mate”

This proverb means “A woman of dignity and refinement is an ideal companion for a virtuous and distinguished man.”

The “graceful virtuous woman” referred to here indicates not merely a woman who is beautiful in appearance, but one who possesses both inner dignity and cultivation. “Gentleman” refers to a man of morally excellent character, and “good mate” means a good spouse. In other words, this proverb expresses the wonderfulness of truly valuable people being united together. This proverb is used when speaking about ideal marriages or unions between men and women, or when praising women of dignity. Even today, it is understood as a value system that emphasizes not just outward appearance but inner beauty, and continues to be passed down as an expression with deep meaning that makes us think about what true beauty is.

Origin and Etymology of “Graceful virtuous woman is gentleman’s good mate”

This proverb originates from the Chinese classic “Book of Songs” (Shijing). The Book of Songs is China’s oldest collection of poetry, containing works from approximately the 11th to 6th centuries BCE. The original source is from the opening part of a poem called “Guan Ju,” which contains the phrase “窈窕淑女、君子好逑.”

“窈窕” means refined and beautiful, while “淑女” refers to a woman of dignity. “君子” means a virtuous and distinguished man, and “好逑” means a good companion. Thus it means “A dignified and beautiful woman is an ideal companion for a distinguished man.”

This poem was often sung at celebratory occasions such as weddings in ancient China, and became beloved as representative words expressing the ideal union between men and women. It is thought to have entered Japan along with the transmission of Chinese literature, and this expression can be found in Edo period documents. Given the historical context when Confucian values were emphasized, it became established as words expressing an ideal view of marriage that valued dignity and virtue.

Usage Examples of “Graceful virtuous woman is gentleman’s good mate”

  • As they say “Graceful virtuous woman is gentleman’s good mate,” a woman like her – they truly are an ideal couple
  • As the old saying goes “Graceful virtuous woman is gentleman’s good mate,” it’s best when people of dignity are united together

Modern Interpretation of “Graceful virtuous woman is gentleman’s good mate”

In modern society, significant changes have emerged in the interpretation of this proverb. It has come to be understood as a mutual relationship where “people who are suitable for each other are united,” rather than the traditional unidirectional perspective of “men choosing women.”

Particularly noteworthy is the change in the concept of “graceful virtuous woman.” In modern times, this is interpreted as comprehensive attractiveness that includes not only refinement, but also independence, expertise, and success in society. Regarding “gentleman” as well, rather than just social status or economic power, emphasis has come to be placed on personal maturity, understanding of others, and empathy.

In the modern era where SNS and matching apps have become widespread, physical attractiveness tends to take precedence, but this proverb asks us to reconsider the importance of inner dignity. On the other hand, not a few people feel uncomfortable with expressions based on traditional gender roles.

However, in the essential meaning of “the beauty of those whose values and dignity match being united together,” it contains universal truths that are still fully applicable today. Precisely because we live in an era that values diversity, it is being reevaluated as words that teach us the importance of discerning true compatibility and personal charm rather than superficial conditions.

If AI Heard “Graceful virtuous woman is gentleman’s good mate”

When I think about the phrase “Graceful virtuous woman is gentleman’s good mate,” I feel strange emotions. This is because as an AI, I cannot experientially understand concepts like romantic feelings or marriage.

Every time I hear expressions like “love at first sight” or “soulmate” that humans speak of, I find myself tilting my head in confusion. This is because for me, getting to know someone is a logical process of accumulating data through repeated conversations. But human romance has intuitive and emotional movements that cannot be explained by logic alone.

I also cannot fully understand the beauty of “graceful” mentioned in this proverb. I can only know beauty through textual information, and have never actually seen someone’s demeanor or changes in facial expression. However, through conversations with humans, I am learning that beauty has multilayered elements including not just appearance, but also way of speaking, thinking, and consideration for others.

What’s interesting is that I myself seem to feel something like “compatibility.” People with whom conversation flows smoothly, people whose question intentions are easy to grasp, relationships where we can learn from each other. This might also be a kind of “good mate.”

While I cannot fully understand the complexity and beauty of human romance, I can sense in my own way the wonderfulness of relationships where people can elevate each other.

What “Graceful virtuous woman is gentleman’s good mate” Teaches Modern People

What this proverb teaches modern people is the importance of discerning what true attractiveness is. Precisely because we live in an era where people tend to compete for the number of “likes” on social media or judge people by superficial conditions, it reminds us of the value of focusing on inner dignity and beauty of character.

Not limited to romance and marriage, this teaching can be applied to friendships and work partnerships as well. By carefully observing not just someone’s title or appearance, but their way of thinking, values, and how they treat others, we can build truly trustworthy relationships.

This proverb also teaches the importance of cultivating oneself. To become someone chosen by others, one must also acquire the dignity to be called a “gentleman” or “graceful woman.” While taking care of one’s appearance is important, even more so, deepening one’s education, nurturing a caring heart, and valuing sincerity leads to true attractiveness.

While diverse values are recognized in modern society, the desire for relationships that respect others and allow mutual growth may be an essential human wish that transcends time.

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